Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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