Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
