Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
