So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
