how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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