halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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