I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
