He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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