I'm drive I can fine osifer
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
