How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
