Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
