I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
