i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
