Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
