btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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