Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
