I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
