College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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