Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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