So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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