Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Panties = found
Randomize
