Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
