walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
