a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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