That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
