I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
