the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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