i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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