FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
