READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
