Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
