Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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