they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
