Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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