I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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