what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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