Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
