Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
