she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
