So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
