she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
