Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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