Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
