I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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