That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
