i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize