While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
