I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
