obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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