hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
