I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
